God Has A Purpose For Me

By Laura Brown

 

What is purpose?  Meaning, existing, having a reason to live. 

Some people who have lost a love one don't think they have a purpose anymore. I thought that my purpose was gone when I lost my only child on August 17,2006 when my ex-husband committed suicide and murdered my son by carbon monoxide in his vehicle.  My son was only 11 and this was the worse thing I could have ever gone through. What a shock it was when I was told. 

At that point I did not think I had a purpose or a reason to live, but I found that God does have a reason and a purpose for me.  He has healed me.  He has given me a wonderful man I will marry on May 31. A man who is very supportive and caring.  God has placed him in my life at the right time so I can see that a purpose does exist. 

But like all who are grieving, there were and are times that I still wonder what am I doing here.  Why me and not my son?  Why do I have to live without him?  Now my mom has health problems and it takes my mind off of my pain and helps me focus more on her and helping her out. 

So, there is a purpose and reason for me being here still.  I found this wonderful website I want to share with anyone who has lost a child or any loved one. It is: mychildlossgrief.org   It is a wonderful site one can go to, post things and share with others who are going through the loss of someone they loved. 

Now I have a new purpose.  I connect with wonderful Christians whom I talk with over the phone.  I can be a huge help to them by just being there to listen to them; praying with them and giving them encouragement.  I feel like I do have a purpose and meaning for still being here.  God has been leading me.  He has blessed me with a wonderful family and a wonderful man, and a wonderful web site where I find some wonderful new friends in Christ. 

I believe that God allows everything to happen for a reason. I am not sure the reason He allowed my son to go before me. I probably never will know until I get to heaven and ask Him, but I know I do have meaning and purpose for still being here on this earth and I thank God everyday for all the purpose He has given me on this journey. 

“Come now and let us reason together says the Lord. Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”  Isaiah 1:18

 

Laura Ann Brown writes from Central Point, Oregon.