Perspectives
on the Landscape of Life
By
DJ Note
Acceptance:
A Gift of Love, Part 1
Spring
is on its way and the thought of daffodils and crocuses popping out of the
ground cheering the passerby gladdens my heart and lifts my spirit. But more
than the hope of a new season, my heart was buoyed recently by a success story
in the making.
She
stood across the counter from me with her short-cropped hair and beautifully
fitting markdown jacket that framed a slim figure and complimented the sparkle
in her eyes.
Years
earlier, her search for acceptance had led her down a road of horror and pain.
But today, like the flowers of spring, God’s grace blossoms in her life with
triumph and healing through the acceptance of His gift of love.
“I met
a man who charmed me, and I fell in love,” she told me. This pretty blonde’s
search for significance in the eyes of the wrong man outweighed her good
judgment. Life consisted of smoking pot, abusing alcohol, cocaine, and meth. In
time she, like her boyfriend, became addicted to these drugs.
Eventually
they had a son.
“Meth made me feel strong, confident, and even sexy,” she
told me. “I wasn’t afraid of anything. I felt there was nothing I couldn’t do.”
A year and a half into her addiction, she remembers thinking, “Wow! This is
really living.” But her slender 5’7” frame rapidly withered from a healthy 125
lbs to a ghastly 95 lbs.
She
worked two jobs to support them. “For a long time, he convinced me he was
dieing of diabetes, so I felt I couldn’t leave him.” In time, she realized her
boyfriend was dealing. He persuaded her to cease all contact with her family
saying they no longer loved or accepted her and she’d only bring them pain to
see her as she was.
“I
believed his lie,” she said, “and it was years before I’d see my family
again. Sleep escaped her. “I used
several times a day for three years. Then one day as I was hallucinating, I
looked into a mirror and saw piercing evil eyes framed in black circles, grisly
sunken cheeks, and a chin appearing to jet out. I saw death. I knew I was in
trouble.”
Multiple
times she tried to escape her nightmare existence, but each time her boyfriend
brought her back and beat her. He threatened to hand her over to his friends to
do with her as they pleased then leave her in the wilderness with a bullet in
her head if she attempted to escape again. To assure her submission, he would
hide their son from her. She didn’t doubt the threats of this man who had spent
sixteen months in prison for the attempted murder of his own mother by
bludgeoning.
With
no family connections, no car, no money, and no friends, she saw no way
out. In desperation she turned in prayer
to the One she remembered from her childhood. “Dear Lord Jesus, if you don’t
save me I’m going to die.”
These
people she ran with lied, cheated, stole, committed adultery, and participated
in rancid pornography. She was kicked, handcuffed, beaten, locked in a room,
held hostage and subjected to mental torture over and over. Life was a downward spiral of gruesome horror.
Finally, miraculously, she began to see the darkness for what it was, a
spiritual battle.
But
where was God? Why didn’t He answer her cry for deliverance?
To be continued…
Deborah J.
Note writes from Eagle Point, Oregon.