Growth Doesn't HAVE To Come The Hard Way!

I've personally grown a lot this year.  That's not bragging--it's a painful truth!  I could have matured in my walk with God an easier and better way.  But no, I chose the hard way!

I have always had a hard time getting into the Word of God, unfortunately.  Laziness, I guess, plus so many other "entertainments" to distract me.  Sure wish I had spent more time in it this year!  Instead, I spent my time--for a few months, anyway--in bed with a handsome man--and paying the price.  And was it ever steep!

I knew very well that God's Word forbids fornication and sex outside of marriage.  Honestly, I wish it said "You go, girl!”  But it doesn't, and now I know part of the reason why.  Sex with the wrong person burrows deep into your soul, and stains it.  You're never the same and that person is forever part of you.  Even if the relationship ends, the joining never totally goes away.  Now I truly wish I had done one powerful thing before the first time: RUN!

I deeply wish I had listened to God, and run for all it was worth!  Instead, I plunged into an often painful relationship, and the more I had sex, the harder it was to see clearly.  And the more I pulled the covers over my guilty conscience, the more I left myself exposed.  Exposed to the lies of my own heart that said "this is all right.  I love him.  This is surely good."  And the less I saw us both for what we were: two deeply flawed humans, one whom didn't even love the other.  You see, sex and love are not one and the same.  I have truly learned.  And truly grown.  But at oh, what a price!

Now I'm walking with God again.  Learning to forgive myself, as He has graciously forgiven me.  Learning to live HIS ways and not my own.  I really want to please the Lord now.  It feels so good and it truly IS right!

I still care about the man.  I believe I always will.  And it hurts because he was so completely wrong for me.  I want to sever the tie that forever binds us.  Break myself free. 

But God is a merciful and wonderful God.  Even though I didn't make a run for it when I should have, He loves me and wants so much better for me.  He wants better for us all.  Better than illicit sex.  Better than drugs or alcohol.  Better than the mess of co-dependency.  Or anything else that threatens to wreck our lives.

Please live your life for Him today.  Don't be like I was: don't learn the hard way!

The author chooses to remain anonymous.