Being A Hero To Your Children

By Pam Farrel

All three of our sons are graduating from something: Brock from graduate school with a Masters, Zach from university, and Caleb from high school. At one graduation ceremony photo shoot, the three “boys” picked up Bill, their dad, and lifted him onto their shoulders like a team might do after winning a championship game. Our sons view their dad as a hero. Why? What moved Dad to hero status in their eyes?

Let’s create an acrostic to explore how a man might progress in his relationship so that his children view him as a hero. To be a H.E.R.O, Dad:

Holds fast to his integrity

Explains insights to life

Responds in love

Observes his child’s strengths and applauds them.

Holds fast to his integrity: Children want to know their dad can be counted on….that he is righteous, true, honest and reliable. He is a dad to be trusted. I talked with a woman who was running her father’s political campaign. She remarked that she decided to put all her time into getting him elected because he was “true north.” He always told the truth, he maintained his inner convictions no matter what public opinion might do, and he was the same at home as he was in front of the cameras.

Explains insights to life: A good dad is proactive and purposes to prepare his children to succeed in life. He prays, he seeks God’s wisdom, and he shares that wisdom with his offspring. He has a plan that cooperates with God’s plan and walks his kids forward in life. If one of our sons makes a mistake and Bill realizes it was because that child was never equipped or taught the rule and reason then he defers discipline and replaces it with a learning moment. If the rule was explained, Dad cares enough to follow through explaining why the discipline was put in place.

Responds in love: My own father was the opposite of this. He yelled, belittled, used profanity, physical violence, and threats, especially when he was drinking. Because of this, our home never felt safe. A good dad makes it his goal to create a loving, safe environment at home. A good dad manages his anger and measures his words—especially when his kids are driving him crazy!

Observes his child’s strengths and applauds them: Every child is a unique creation of God. Solomon says to “train up a child in the way he should go…“ This means according to that child’s God-given bent. A good parent observes the God given bent and co-operate with God to help the child reach his or her potential. We asked our oldest son to share on a Sunday morning at church what three things he thought his parents did right. The first was “You gave me a dream big enough to make wise choices to protect then live out.” Our children view us as heros when they reach their God given potential and live out the dream God placed on their hearts.

Pam Farrel writes from El Cajon, California. farrelcommunications.com