"I wish she'd die!"   And then she did

By Patti Iverson

 

Ten year old twin Peggy and I took care of our alcoholic mother. I hated my life. That’s when I got hooked stealing my folks "ciggies”. 25 years later, after trying/failing/ quitting a gazillion times, I submitted to success. Submission to Mom was NOT an option.

1950s Los Angeles was golden. Orange groves, strawberries, singing cowboys 'n movie stars. Daddy bellowed a lot. "Whadya think? Money grows on trees? I got five kids to feed.” He was a railroad Conductor with a Napoleon complex. A small man needing to be big and powerful, but not, so he took everything out on us. Today he’d be jailed. Submit to our father? A must. We sorted tickets and played cards. Biggest thrill was between railroad cars hanging on as clanging and clatter roared with the wind. We loved the dining car where old black Porters would give us anything. 

Then came the ‘60s. Yelling and crying were our life. Hippies! "Peace, love, and rock 'n roll!” Nobody submitted to authority, but rebelled it. Shawls, hip huggers, patched jeans. Long blonde surfer hair with bangs over our eyes. Made it hard to see, but who cared? Sometimes I wished somebody cared. Daddy was gone all the time and mom, well, you know…  We went to Huntington Beach several times a week. Cokes 'n strips on the sand, and singing with guitars made us happy. 

“Teenage-dom” didn't change life like I thought it would. I refused to submit to teacher authority. My diary was my outlet. I wrote everything I did and felt. I was soooo mad at our parents. Why couldn't we have life like everybody else? Our house was a mess. We couldn't bring anybody home. No food---just bologna sandwiches and vanilla wafers. I hated my parents! I hated my life! I hated...   myself. 

The last entry, before I burned my precious five-year diary, was that one, awful, unforgettable line,

"I wish she'd die!"

And she did. I was 14. Daddy died when we were 16. 

My orphaned heart felt heavy with guilt. I couldn't sleep, eat, or think. People helped. We grew stronger, courageous, and could handle ANYTHING life threw at us and submit at last. Folks didn't know what to say, but were "there" for us. God watched over us, through we didn’t know it. As for me wishing Mom would die, (and secretly Daddy, too), I know that was an emotion coming out because I loved them and I didn’t want to hurt anymore. I've been forgiven of that diary entry and know I didn't cause their deaths. It was okay to feel that, and to face one of the hardest things a kid can go through in life, losing your parents. 

But life is good. We were infused and enthused by Jesus Christ and now submit to Him! That’s joy, and what life is all about. So, Bring It On!  

 

Patti Iverson writes from Medford, Oregon. Randpi2@charter.net