By Petey Prater
“I will never forgive him, ever!” She spit the words at me like venom. “What father would abuse his own child? I hate him.”
Mary’s
fury is justified. The one who should have loved her most, repeatedly raped her
innocence. Now, many years later, anger and bitterness consume her.
“You’ve
got to release him,” I respond. “You won’t have peace until you do.”
Mary isn’t the only one who struggles to forgive others. Anger is a problem for everyone. All of us become angry when people hurt us or fail to meet our expectations. Anger boils when trust is betrayed, when people deliberately lie to us or about us.
But
an angry, bitter attitude is unacceptable to a holy God. Scripture says, “If
I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened….”
Psalm 66: 18
Webster’s
dictionary states iniquity (sin) is gross injustice, sin, wickedness.
Unwillingness to extend grace to those who have wronged me is sin. God sees my
vindictive spirit. Because he is a holy God he cannot look on wickedness. Sin
separates me from God, keeping him from hearing and answering my prayers.
I
want revenge when people hurt me, just as Mary did. Jesus whispers, “Forgive.”
His
word says, “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone,
forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. But if
you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your
sins.” Mark 11:25, 26 (Verse 26 at bottom of page in NIV manuscripts.)
God
pardons all who repent. But wrongdoing will not go unpunished. Retribution is
his. “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for
it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” Romans
12:19
Can I trust God to heal my hurt and also deal with my enemy? I must.
My
angry, unforgiving spirit creates excessive sorrow, allowing Satan a toehold in
my life. My sin passes down to the third and fourth generation of my children,
creating new offenses. The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious
God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to
thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave
the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin
of the fathers to the third and fourth generation.” Exodus 34:6,7
An
unforgiving attitude seats self-interest on the throne of my life, replacing
God. Fellowship with Jesus and spiritual growth in my life are choked off;
holiness and sin aren’t good roommates.
God
requires mercy. But I am incapable of pure love unless he becomes my remedy.
When I cry to him for help he gives me the willingness and the ability to
release my enemies to his justice.
Each
time I make the choice to let God avenge me he enters the garbage dump of my
grievances, heals my hurts and gives me grace to forgive.
Now
I have peace with God. Now my spirit is pure and fellowship with him is
restored. Now he hears and answers my prayers.
Thank
you, Father. You forgave me, now I forgive my enemy and extend your peace to
him.
Petey Prater writes from Beaverton, Oregon. peteyprater@yahoo.com