Cell Phones

By Bob Hansen

Cell phones are everywhere. They are convenient, but do cell phones and cars mix. A couple of recent experiences have led me to weigh in on the question.

A few weeks ago, I was traveling north past the State Patrol facility. As I approached a new strip mall area, I noted a van about to leave the parking lot. The car paused only briefly before thrusting unto the roadway. To avoid being hit, I had to swerve around it, onto the shoulder, then back onto the pavement.

After performing the amazing automotive feat, I looked in my rear view mirror to observe a woman talking on her cell phone. She hadn’t looked before pulling out of the parking lot. And, even after the event, she didn’t seem to be aware of our near-accident. Perhaps her cell phone conversation was at a particularly important juncture and took precedence.

Just the other day, I was nearly involved in another accident. While trying to reach a main road, I came upon a construction area. There I waited patiently for a pilot car slowly leading a long line of vehicles. Heavy equipment blocked part of my view, but I figured it would be safe to tag unto the end of the procession once a gap appeared, indicating the end of the string of cars. At last it came and I edged out. A car suddenly appeared, lagging far behind the others. You guessed it, a cell phone driver, not keeping up with the pace.

What made this second experience more frightening was that this person was a gesturer. So, with one hand she held the phone to her ear, with the other she gestured to make her points more effectively. To her credit, she occasionally touched the steering wheel to correct the car’s path. But, this hardly seemed adequate. A chill of fear down my back. Something had to be done.

I realized that various states are looking at new laws to address the menace, but I still feel it my civic duty to offer input. Therefore, I have developed a series of commonsense guidelines to address the problem.

My first thought was that men should not be allowed to use cell phones while driving. The reason? They say that men aren’t able to multi-task like women can. (Some kind of brain deficiency) This is certainly a multi-tasking issue.

But my stand softened when I remembered that men don’t talk as much as women do. Statistics vary, but on average, women use two-and-a-half-times as many words in a day. Thus, men’s risk factors are reduced compared to women’s.

I believe it’s more important to examine the “multi-tasking issue,” rather than the “number of words issue.” For this we need a test. Read this carefully: This I is wonder a how test many sentence will for pass this the purpose test. If you understood the above sentence, you are a multi-tasker. I believe it’s safe for you to use a cell phone while driving. (A clue for the rest of us—there are actually two sentences intertwined. Try reading every other word)

My second test is designed to address the gesturing issue. The prospective cell phone user, while seated in a chair, will be instructed to place their hands on the table in front of them. Then they will be asked to respond to a question like: “Tell me about your husband.” Or, “Tell me about your boyfriend.” These questions will weed out the women gesturers. If a woman can reply while still keeping her hands idle on the table, she passes.

For men, a different question will be required: “Tell me about your favorite sports team—that is losing.” This will be a tough one for guys and will be a good indicator of whether or not he will be able to keep the free hand on the wheel while driving and talking on the cell phone.

I believe this will have the effect we’re all after—making our highways safer. Though it would be surprising if such common sense ideas were actually implemented.

All this reminded me of a type of communication that can safely be done while driving. In I Thessalonians 5:17 we read: “Pray constantly.” You might say that this is a type of multi-tasking. However, because of its special nature, I believe it is entirely safe. It will cause no traffic accidents.

Bob Hansen writes from Chehalis, Washington. bhansen6@juno.com