By
Denise Spooner
Driving
home one afternoon, my breath was taken away by enchanting evergreens wrapping
their outstretched limbs around Mt. Sexton. At this very moment, it was not
difficult for me to trust in the Lord. Neither was it troublesome for me
to avoid leaning on my own understanding.
Recently,
I lost my Pell grant to continue my studies at Rogue Community College. I am
going to school for a Criminal Justice degree while earning my certificate in
juvenile corrections and I’m currently in my third term. I remember seeing the
results on my last FAFSA that jolted my senses. As far as I could see this was
the end of my studies in college.
In
the blink of an eye and with the shedding of tears, I was no longer engulfed in
Oregon’s majestic scenery. Lying prostrate on my face before God, I earnestly
asked why had this happened. My trust in God who I’d easily trusted in just
days before, was suddenly shaken and uprooted.
Soft
and gently I heard a sweet voice in the depths of my soul whisper, “Just trust
me.” I realized leaning on my own understanding at that moment seemed so
logical after seeing the numbers that disqualified me for further education. I
had to make a choice to trust God once again and I needed to make it quickly.
I
was reminded of the ten-year long process of how God had provided the way for
me to enter college. My trust in God began to build once again.
I
needed to surrender all I was, and all I was to be. My life no longer belonged
to me, so who was I to whine over changes to God’s agenda?
The
Bible tells us in Proverbs 3:5: “Trust in the Lord and lean not on your
own understanding.” God is worthy of my trust and I’m sure He knows
what He is talking about when He tells me not to lean on my own understanding.
Whether I return once more to college or not I choose to trust God and leave
the understanding to Him.
Denise Spooner writes from Grants Pass, Oregon.