The Most Valuable Gift my Mother Gave Me

(Nothing can ever replace a mother’s love)

By Judy A. Wagner

It was just another routine visit that I had made countless times before. There wasn’t anything unusual or out of the ordinary that afternoon as I arrived at the assisted living facility where my widowed mother had lived for the past few years.

She was in her late 80’s and the multi strokes she had suffered left her partially paralyzed and incapable of caring for herself. When I approached her bedside, she immediately opened her eyes and smiled softly, but it was much too difficult for her to speak. Strokes had taken such a toll on her.

As I held her unsteady hand I thought about the gorgeous hand made quilts she had sewn, the lovely needle point work she had created and the beautiful pressed flower pictures she had diligently fashioned. These artistic pursuits were her solace and comfort during the 28 years that she had looked after my late father who had suffered severe paralyzes from a massive cerebral hemorrhage at the edge of fifty. I learned first hand about their marriage commitment to each other and their unwavering trust in God through very difficult times.

As I stood at her bedside, I knew that she was getting weary of the struggle, but she always managed to display a quiet inner strength because of her deep and abiding faith in God. But on this particular afternoon she didn’t make any effort at all to talk. It was just easier not to, so I talked for the both of us.

Even though her health was deteriorating her mind was still very alert. She had come to lean on me heavily for all the things that she could not do herself. As I tried to keep our “one-sided” conversation going, she just kept looking at me in silence. Her soft hazel eyes seemed so intense and brighter than usual as she tenderly studied my face. I felt such a glowing ray of unconditional love radiating from her as she continued to focus on my every move. Her adoring look was so obvious that it distracted my idle chatter. She was silently communicating something much deeper than I even realized. Never before had I felt the depth and sincerity of her love as I did in those few moments.

Then a powerful thought penetrated me to the core. I was suddenly and intensely aware that she was lovingly telling me “GOODBYE”… without words. The full impact of this didn’t hit me fully until I met the Hospice nurse in the hallway as I was leaving. I fell apart emotionally as I related my experience to her realizing the final “gift” that my mother had just given me.

On the brochure that I had designed for her funeral service I had written this note: “OUR WORLD CAN NOT CONTAIN A MOTHER’S LOVE; SHE BLESSES US

STILL FROM HER SPECIAL PLACE IN HEAVEN.”

She’s been gone for three years now, and I still miss her dearly.

Judy A. Wagner writes from Woodburn, Oregon. judy@withPenNBrush.com www.withPenNBrush.com