Tunaless Casserole

By Bob Hansen

I once wrote a column about the word, “fine” and its inappropriate use when asked the question, “How did you like the meal?”

Some time later, a young couple commented that they appreciated the column, finding it helpful. By way of example, the wife mentioned her first tuna casserole.

The young man piped in, “It was wonderful. I had three helpings.”

I could see he had learned a lot from my advice.

Then his wife told the rest of the story. “While we were eating, I realized I had forgotten one ingredient—the tuna fish.”

The husband said, “I thought it tasted great.”

I was proud of him. Obviously he took seriously the marriage covenant. Isn’t there a part in the vows that goes, “In sickness and in health, through good meals and bad…?

This incident reminded me of our early marriage years. My wife didn’t have a lot of experience cooking. Yes, she could make all the essentials: cookies, cakes and pies. But, as she will admit, she was deficient with main dishes. Being a quick study, she soon mastered Hamburger Helper—every night. Just kidding. Actually, I love any dish that includes hamburger.

I lacked culinary skills, as I will now illustrate. In our first year of marriage, we invited another couple over for dinner. I volunteered to make the dessert, choosing one of my favorites—tapioca. I know some people can’t stand tapioca because they imagine they’re eating fish eyes, but I like it.

After an excellent dinner, expertly prepared by my wife, it was time for dessert. I slipped away to the kitchen, returning with the perfect topper for the evening.

Bowls were dished up and everyone dug in. With the first bite, I thought something might be wrong. But I assumed it was my imagination. Extra sensitive, wanting to make a good impression and all. But my wife’s expression confirmed the truth. There was something dreadfully wrong with the concoction.

She questioned me about my tapioca preparation, while our guests, polite to the point of poisoning themselves, continued to eat, insisting that it wasn’t that bad.

My wife quickly centered in on the salt issue. “Did you add a teaspoon of salt, or a tablespoon?”

“My intelligent response was, “Is there a difference?”

Needless to say, that couple never again came over for dinner.

My wife, despite my cooking error, stuck with me. We have a covenant that covers such things. Now, thirty-some years later, “the tapioca pudding incident,” rarely comes up in conversation. Again, I’m certain this is because of our unconditional marriage covenant.

God is even better at this covenant thing than we are. What He has promised, He will fulfill. He loves us with an undying love, and He will reliably do what He has said. Somehow, He manages to forget our past failures. We need never worry that God will neglect His side of a promise, His side of the relationship. In this, we can take great comfort.

 Bob Hansen writes from Chehalis, Washington.  Bhansen6@juno.com