Stop the World and let me off, I am Tired of Going Round and Round

By Doug Bolton

“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why as disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will ye praise him, my Savior and my God.” Psalm 42:11

I was out of control. The sobbing filled my eyes with tears. I couldn’t see the road ahead of me as I drove my Ford Explorer.

Everything seemed to be going wrong in my life. I had quit two jobs, because I had to try to force people to buy something they may not want. A business I started failed for the same reason. It was a company that provided cash flow for businesses that were hurting. I couldn’t tell them they had to use our program if I thought they might make it alone.

Depression overcame me until I was in a pit of despair. I was a happily married man with three children and several grand children. I had a wonderful career of teaching for twenty-five years. Why was I feeling so low? Why did I feel so unloved? All I wanted to do was to stop the madness and leave this wretched earth!

I pulled my SUV into a high school parking lot. I was ready to commit suicide. The date was March 31, 2001. The next day was April Fools Day. A very fitting time to die, don’t you think?

I sat there out of control for several minutes, and I finally shouted, “God, I can’t take this anymore!” In a flash, there was calmness in me. It even felt different in the vehicle. The air was fresher and cooler. It was as if God was saying, “It’s about time you came back to me. I have been waiting for you. Let me carry you the rest of the way.”

My life changed that day. I gave my life back to God. I had been a Christian since I was about sixteen. But I was the poster child for a lukewarm Christian. I didn’t think I needed to go to church every week. God let me know I did.

Why did I allow myself to fall to such a low spot? Why would I drift so far away from God? The answer was DEPRESSION.  That is not a fancy name like, cardiovascular disease, or leukemia, but it can be just as deadly.

Can you relate to what I went through? Have you had trouble getting up for work because you just don’t care? Have you felt lost and alone? Have you broken down crying and you aren’t sure why? You’re not alone!

Depression doesn’t care if we are male or female. It doesn’t care if we are 10 years old or 90. It just attacks and tries to knock us down no matter who we are.

We can go to our doctor to find a treatment that is right for us, but the real healer is our God. Our heavenly Father doesn’t like seeing even one person struggle with depression, self doubt, hopelessness, anxiety, or fear.

I think we need to start thinking more about good happenings in our lives. We need to be thankful for the little things we have. We can’t look at the dark side, but rather seek out the light that shines for those who seek God.

We must stop letting Satan whip us until we can’t cope anymore! It’s time we step up to the plate and hit a home run with God. We can let Him carry us through the storm.

Doug Bolton writes from Salem, Oregon. doug@depressionsuppressed.com www.depressionsuppressed.com