Confidence When Faced with Autism

By Carolin Corum

I believe all parents have one thing in common.  If you are a parent reading this right now it is very likely you have been given advice about raising your children.  If you have a child with a special need, then the amount of advice you have received is doubled.  My oldest son, James, is four years old and almost two years ago he received a diagnosis of autism.  In these past two years I have received a tremendous amount of advice.  Most of the advice I have received was given with good intentions.  Not all of the advice I was given was bad advice, but when advice is given in a large measure it can start to feel very heavy upon you. 

There was on night in particular, when all of the advice I had received felt very heavy on my shoulders.  I started to wonder, “What if I am not doing enough for my son?  What if James’ future is damaged because of something I did or did not do?”  I woke up around four AM in a panic.  I could feel my heart pounding as my mind was greatly troubled.  I was greatly concerned for my son’s future.  It was as if sometime during the night I had decided that James’ future was in great trouble because I was not a good enough mother. 

When you have a child with autism often you can feel like there is an invisible clock over your head.  The words, “Early intervention” beat in your head.  I was afraid I had not done enough for James in the time I had been given.  In this state of panic and fear, God spoke to my heart.  God reminded me of a simple truth that He had already told me two times before.  I felt God say to me, “It is not about you.”  Every time I have heard God speak to my heart this way I have felt a sense of peace mixed with humility.  A great load can be taken off your shoulders when you realize it is not all about you, but your pride will take a serious hit.

“Humble yourself therefore under God’s mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time.” 1 Peter 5:6

I am still very insecure when it comes to my own abilities and my own understanding.  The good news is that my son’s future is not based on my confidence in me, but our confidence in God. “For I know the plans I have for you declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11   Our part in raising our children is just to trust in God and obey Him.  We can have the confidence that we will not fail if we put our trust in God and are obedient to Him.

“Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble.” Psalm 119:165

 

Carolin Corum writes from Redding, California. bcjcorum@sbcglobal.net